63. "Say it for God's sake, SAY it" / Part Eight
Confiding in Dina, nonetheless, didn’t turn out to be all too bad; every cloud has a silver lining after all. And since I had been living of late in a half world, deliberately refusing to think, and fighting shy of the potentials for painful encounters with the uncertain environment, unburdening the secret of my hidden romance seemed to have restored some of my disturbed serenity. And in spite of all the subsequent upbraiding that Dina’s indignant resentment began raining down on me with or without occasion, and which made me often feel like a naughty schoolgirl after a successful day of truancy, the exacerbating sense of guilt that had been taxing my nerves seemed to have lessened in intensity. Well, considering that this was my first bid at harbouring a secret in my entire life, the sense of having betrayed my parents’ precious trust was excruciatingly unbearable. The matter produced in me the sensation of having perpetrated an immensely unpardonable act. And entrusting Dina with my