Liana telling the story in a nutshell

Love is the twin of a beautiful dream that survives birth to reality; but my love was a reality that survived arduous parturition only to remain a beautiful dream

Blog Archive

January 13, 2005

2. To Him, The Only Man In My Life

To You, I Confess,
If You’re In This World Still,

And To Your Soul,
Despite all your desperate effort to suppress the little recalcitrant child of love quivering inside you, I witnessed it, still, growing bigger and bigger, almost blasting your heart, disclosing by the minute your first genuine experience of pain and pleasure with this peculiar being called chaste love.

Madly and frantically you were yearning to hear it … your beautiful hazel eyes were over and over again beseeching and begging for it … helplessly exposing that burning agonizing passion you strived hard to conceal; nevertheless
, you failed and your failure was outrageous.

Willing you were to give up your life for the sake of hearing back that thrilling utterance, yet I did not say it … not for loving you less. Madly in love, I confess, I was, but my love was unlike any you had ever known or experienced before.

I loved you in my way … loved you with my rules and my regulations … introduced you to my world … presented you to my traditions and culture … where women embrace purity and chastity still, and blush like a red rose. Unblemished, who will always be best worthy of that white dress— women, who out of immense respect for their femininity, endeavour their hardest to maintain their men’s manhood, not demean it in the name of so called civilization and equal rights…

I yielded not, incessantly tenacious and obstinate. Disciplining you, I believed, I was; taming your wild desires, ridding you of all your past blemishes, purging your mind and your heart, transferring to you some of my “alien” purity and chastity and taking you back to your young forgotten days of innocence, in preparation for you to enter the sacred altar of my love, so that one we would become in body and spirit, enjoying together that once-in-a-life-time experience of magnificence.

Foolishly thrilled I was having sat at the throne of your heart and monopolized your mind, but totally oblivious to my looming fate. Unaware that I was burning myself down to the bone with a mute veiled devotion. I was the fragile butterfly, helpless, enslaved, doomed and getting closer and closer to the flame. I became harshly infected and my sweet fascinating malady was incurable

And yes… for the first time, for the very first time being in love for you was none of yesterday’s familiarity. It was no more two bodies and a transient forgettable lust. It was no more sin but holiness. No more craving but reverence, no more frivolity but patience. It became pure, sacred and sublime.

But, alas…

Just when our path was budding and blossoming … unexpectedly, in its cradle, my rosy fairy tale was brutally and viciously slain, and in a blink of an eye, I lost you.

It's years now since we last parted. My heart and soul are still indefatigably searching for you. Longing to see you, hankering to touch you, to feel you
, to hold you, and to say loudly this time, and without shyness, that magical word you had long waited for

To tell you... I could never forget you. Intensely I tried with all that shrivelled power you rewarded me, but I failed, and my failure was outrageous

To tell you... You were the only one… and only for you and your love and your memory I have all these years lived.
To tell you... What my bashfulness withheld from you, then, and all that you didn’t know afterwards.
To tell you... that I wasn’t the kid you deemed me and your love wasn’t a transient point or a small ephemeral chapter in my life that concludes once another man knocks on the doors of my heart. You remained the sole dweller in my mind and my heart;
you adhered and clung to my soul and deeply flowed into my blood…
Obsessed...Charmed... and hooked I am by you, and by your love

To Tell You,

I Love You.......


AngloGermanicAmerican said...

I have now read what is presently your latest installment, #46. Not infrequently, I go back and read again some of your earlier posts, sometimes gaining new insight, sometimes acquiring new questions.

Here is a thought that I have frequently had when reading your story. While I have always known it to be true, I have not followed this truth as often as I should. Here it is (my thought, not necessarily yours nor anyone elses): There is immense value, richness for lack of a better word, in living life restrained by standards, by principles other than "anything goes." To some it may seem a paradox, but the truth, in my opinion and experience, is that real love, real relationships, genuine articles of intangible connection, are merely supplimented and enhanced by what could easily be mistaken for the genuine article itself. Without standards, without hard and fast rules, without obedience, I would not have had the requisite clarity to make that discovery nor would my senses have been sharp enough to experience the difference.

Liana said...

Thanks AGA for your comment, which is intriguing. A response from me may well provoke more discussion and argument than I am able to handle at this moment. I promise that I will reply to it when I am done with my autobiography.


Admin said...

Wow, what a great site. I will bookmark this site and return often. It's nice to see sites like this.

Please visit my website and let me know what you think. Tell your Secret

Greg said...

Hi, I just wanted to invite you to have a look at my new site Here you find valuable information concerning DMOZ open directory project

Anonymous said...

桃園搬家公司 台北搬家公司 整形 韓風整形 整形 韓風整形 老人癡呆症 情緒管理 微整型美容 失眠 疝氣 憂鬱症 瘦身減肥 看護 安養中心 精神分裂症 清潔公司 清潔公司 壁癌 屋頂防水 屋頂隔熱 抓漏 油漆 浴室 漏水 屋頂防水 屋頂隔熱 抓漏 油漆 浴室 漏水 舊屋翻新 裝潢 防水工程 舊屋翻新 裝潢 防水工程 壁癌 健康飲食 台北素食餐廳 吃素 團購美食 水餃 素食 素食料理 素食水餃 素食食譜 素食餐廳交友 婚友 婚友社 婚友聯誼 婚友聯誼社 愛情 愛情公寓 相親 相親銀行 聯誼 Hook and Loop 婚禮佈置 情人花束 新竹花店 會場佈置 氣球佈置 玫瑰花束 盆栽 網路花店 花店

Anonymous said...

蘭花 台北旅遊 台北旅遊景點 台北民宿 坪林 坪林茶葉博物館 宜蘭民宿 木柵動物園 深坑老街 真情民宿 貓空 台北旅遊 台北民宿 坪林 坪林茶葉博物館 宜蘭民宿 木柵動物園 化糞池 抽化糞池 抽水肥 水管不通 洗水塔 消毒 通水管 通馬桶 馬桶 馬桶不通 上順旅行社 五福旅行社 大興旅行社 天喜旅行社 天福旅行社 日本旅行社 日本旅遊 日本機票 日本自由行 日本訂房 包通 抽化糞池 抽水肥 水管不通 洗水塔 清水溝 通水管 通馬桶 馬桶 馬桶不通 便宜機票 國內旅遊 國外旅遊 國外機票 團體旅遊 直航機票 簽證 自由行 訂房 雄獅旅遊 汽車美容 汽車美容 三久太陽能 太陽能 太陽能熱水器 三久 櫻花牌熱水器 熱水器 省電熱水器 衛浴設備 節能減碳 電熱水器

Anonymous said...

中古車 二手車 環保袋 環保袋 環保袋 十分瀑布 台北旅遊網 台北民宿 平溪 景觀餐廳 薰衣草花園 花園餐廳 螢火蟲 渡假村 鐵道之旅 團體服 滷味 滷味加盟 滷味批發 滷味食材 滷味宅配 滷雞翅 滷雞腳 健康滷味 魯味 加盟創業 慈善 義賣 義賣活動 慈善機構 公益彩券 健康食品 慈善基金會 公益團體 愛心捐款 捐款 美白 皺紋 減肥 禿 頭 醫學美容 電波拉皮 雷射溶脂 肉毒桿菌 玻尿酸 痘疤

Anonymous said...

To prepare for world of warcraft gold his big date, a young man went 2moons gold up on to the roof of his apartment building in order ms mesos to tan himself.2moons dil Not wanting any tan lines to show, wow power leveling he sunbathed in last chaos money the nude.Unfortunately,knight gold the young man fell Knight Online Noah asleep while world of warcraft power leveling on the roof, wow gold and managed to get a cheap aion kinah sunburn on his tool of the trade".dog clothes wholesaleaoc power leveling He was determined not to world of warcraft gold miss his date,flyff power leveling so he put some lotion 2moons dil on his manhood and wrapped it 2moons power leveling in gauze.The blonde showed dog clothes up for the date at his apartment, SilkRoad Gold and the young man treated her to a home flyff gold cooked dinner,power leveling after which wow Power Leveling they went into cd keys the living room to watch last chaos money a movie.During the movie, however